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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587867">Don't Let Me Forget I'm Yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/epicmusic42/pseuds/epicmusic42'>epicmusic42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Promise You'll Always Keep Me? Even If I'm Real? [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidentally High, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cock Warming, Deepthroating, Dom/sub, Finger Sucking, Flashbacks, Groping, Healing Sex, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, More like sex that triggers healing, Naked Cuddling, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Nonverbal Communication, Oral Sex, Other, Panic Attacks, Past rape/noncon, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Pollen, Sex Toys, Shapeshifting, Sort of? - Freeform, TS doesn't have human genitalia, Technically. TS forgets Jonny doesn't know it has sex pollen, Tender Sex, Trans Jonny d'Ville, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Xenophilia, and Jonny doesn't think to ask if it might do anything weird in this form, but like. A vag is metaphorically the same, by which I mean its junk is a literal flower, ig?, past dehumanization</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:09:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/epicmusic42/pseuds/epicmusic42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Toy Soldier has had many owners over its <s>lifetime</s> existence. The Mechanisms are its favourites for many reasons.</p><p>One of those reasons is that they get upset when it forgets it's with them, but don't get mad at it for forgetting no matter what it was doing. They even try to find ways for it to not forget - like how Jonny suggests they use some toys earlier than they normally would.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jonny d'Ville/The Toy Soldier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Promise You'll Always Keep Me? Even If I'm Real? [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Let Me Forget I'm Yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Content Warnings:<br/>- TS's not real thing<br/>- implied/referenced past dehumanization<br/>- references to past abuse, physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional<br/>- brief flashback<br/>- possessive behavior/references to possessive behavior viewed in a positive light<br/>- communication issues, they're trying but it's hard<br/>- mild coercion? it's just pouting but it results in a softening of a no<br/>- references to marking, bruises and hickeys<br/>- deepthroating<br/>- sex pollen, basically just an overpowered aphrodisiac</p><p>This is from TS's pov and includes a variety of references to previous abuse its suffered as well as getting into some of its thoughts regarding its own personhood. Over all, both it and Jonny are trying, but well, Marius is the closest they have to a therapist to help them figure shit out.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Toy Soldier cautiously licked up Jonny's folds.</p><p>His hand tightened in its hair as he moaned loudly.</p><p>It shuddered despite itself.</p><p>The noises he was making were torture in of themselves without him teasing it with not-promises to fuck its face. For a few moments it kept trying to lick at his cunt around the thick strap inside him.</p><p>He was so <em><em>vocal</em></em> in his approval. Every rough swipe of its tongue against him drew a moan, or whine, or sigh from his throat.</p><p>It whined against him.</p><p>It almost regretted telling him the truth about what the widow had ordered him to do for her when he asked why it wasn't always the best at remembering it was his while eating him out. This was already much nicer than normal though.</p><p>It couldn't lick into him with his strap in the way, but it could still taste how sweet he was.</p><p>Jonny's hand was just firm enough to pull at its hair if it didn't obey as he guided it back to mouth at the tip of his strap.</p><p>"There ya go, sweet thing."</p><p>His voice was a heady drug as he gently pressed it down until its lips met his.</p><p>It moaned.</p><p>His strap felt so good pressed all the way back into its throat. His hand was a heavy, grounding weight holding it in place perfectly.</p><p>"You like that, <em>cariñe?"</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a></p><p>It fluttered its eyes open - when had it closed them? - and looked up at him.</p><p>His mouth was parted and his cheeks were flushed. It was obvious that he was just as affected as it was.</p><p>It moaned around and against him as it bobbed its head in reply. The motion let it press the strap a little deeper into him, earning it a deep, shaky breath.</p><p>"You wanna touch yourself for me, <em>cariñe?</em> <a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> Make yourself feel good while I watch ya?"</p><p>He began gently carding his hands through its hair as he spoke.</p><p>It fumbled slightly as it began working its trousers open. It could do that for him. If Jonny wanted it to touch itself, it could do that.</p><p>It didn't know what type of body he wanted it to have though. If he wanted it to stroke itself off as he watched and held it down on his strap so much it wanted to pretend to choke. Or if he wanted to watch it open itself up in its fingers as it tried to use its mouth to prove how good it would make him feel.</p><p>- Or maybe it did? He insisted that it pick what it wanted to be any time it tried to ask. He always seemed pleased even when it was sure it had guessed what he wanted it to pick wrong.</p><p>Maybe he just liked it picking without him telling it to?</p><p>It really wasn't sure what it wanted to have right now though.</p><p>It whined anxiously around his strap, its hand in its pants, working against nothing.</p><p>Jonny was <em>so</em>gentle as he pulled it off of his strap even as it whined and considered fighting to stay pushed down like that.</p><p>"Colour?"</p><p>"Green," it rasped out, startling itself with how rough its voice was.</p><p>"Do you not want to touch yourself or is there another problem, sweet thing?"</p><p>"Don't um. Don't Know What To Be."</p><p>He hummed. "I want you to be whatever you want to be. You can pick anything you want."</p><p>"I Know," it whispered. It wasn't sure how to explain that it &lt; <em>knew</em> he liked watching it pleasure itself however it would if it was alone and not performing for him. It just didn't know what to be and he was good at picking so it wanted him to pick.</p><p>He studied it for a moment.</p><p>"Do you need help picking, sweet thing?"</p><p>It nodded, whining and pouting at him when he pulled it up and settled it in his lap. It didn't <em><em>want</em></em> to sit in his lap. It wanted him to fuck its face.</p><p>"Hush. I'm not having this conversation with you on the floor, <em>cariñe.</em> <a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> Can you talk me through your thoughts so far?"</p><p>"Wanna Be Pretty For You. Don- don't Know How Though."</p><p>It was pretty sure it said that wrong. For once, Jonny didn't seem to mind though.</p><p>"Is there anything else you want? Or just wanna look pretty?" His teeth scraped down the side of its neck. He followed each bite with his lips even though it didn't need soothing.</p><p>It shook slightly as it tried to think past the feel of his mouth against its not-skin, of his hands on it, of him between its legs. He felt so good and it wanted him to fuck it already <em>so much</em>.</p><p>- It could tell him that. It could tell him it wanted him to fuck it.</p><p>"I Want You To Fuck Me! N-not Now. Wanna Suck You Off First. But I Wanna Feel You."</p><p>"Okay, that's a start. Can you give me something to fuck? Bet you'll look right pretty opening yourself up for me."</p><p>It nodded, tilting its head down at him.</p><p>It considered shifting so that it was looking up at him and could beg for a kiss that way. He’d made it quite clear that he didn’t appreciate it doing that though, so it would just have to make do.</p><p>Apparently its pout was still good enough even when it wasn’t looking up at someone because he raised a hand to its chin and guided it into a deep kiss that lasted for several minutes. He pulled back only once to tell it to make its changes before going back to taking over its mouth.</p><p>It made its changes. It had enough experience by now to know what would let it enjoy getting fucked the most.</p><p>With the changes in its form Jonny's strap pressed against it more easily. A reflexive thrust of its hips was all it took to have the Toy Soldier whining into his mouth, the drag of him against it sending sparks of pleasure up its not-spine.</p><p>Jonny squeezed the hand on its hips softly and used his hold to guide it into rolling its hips down until it was gasping and clutching at him.</p><p>By the time he eased back and let it go, it was starting to question if it really wanted him to fuck its face or if it would rather he just pin it down now and fuck it.</p><p>"Go ahead and get on your knees for me, sweet thing," he murmured.</p><p>It <em>knew</em> it wasn't an order - it wasn't nearly hard enough for that. It <em>really</em> wanted it to be though. So it pretended it was.</p><p>His hand threaded through its hair again as soon as its knees hit the floor.</p><p>"There you go," he said softly. "Can you touch yourself for me?"</p><p>It nodded, whimpering slightly at the soft pull of its hair. Tugging its trousers open as wide as they'd go, it slid a hand in and curled its fingers against itself.</p><p>It took a few moments of teasing along its petals before they would open in a full bloom. As it teased them apart, Jonny turned its face up to him. He kept petting its hair the entire time, fingers drifting down to stroke its face on occasion.</p><p>"You're so pretty like this, Toy, all pretty and desperate, touching yourself for me. Should tie me up and tease me like this some time. Let me see all of you as you get yourself off and make me beg to even be allowed to clean your fingers off."</p><p>Belatedly it remembered that shaping itself like this would have it blooming <em>everywhere</em>.</p><p>Jonny's fingers were gentle as he brushed the petals opening above its eye.</p><p>"I don't think I've seen you put out flowers before, <em>amor</em>." <a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a></p><p>It whined. <em>Was he mad at it?</em></p><p>His eyes caught on its.</p><p>"You look real pretty with these, y'know. Gonna have to talk it over, make sure we’re on all the same pages, but I'm rather given to making you bloom like this as often as I can."</p><p>That its lower petals finally opened enough for two of its fingers to sink in was a lot. That Jonny was playing with the flowers on its face more gently than he did practically anything was a lot. That Jonny wanted to make it bloom whenever he could was a lot.</p><p>All of them at the same time would have had it tipping over the edge of it was any closer.</p><p>As it was, it still cried out. "<em>C-captai-ain!"</em></p><p>Jonny froze for a moment.</p><p>Only a brief moment; it didn't even have time to start panicking before he was tipping its head further so he could kiss it.</p><p>It was gasping into his mouth - despite it not needing air - by the time he pulled back.</p><p>"You don't need to call me that, sweet thing. Just Jonny is perfectly okay."</p><p>It whined.</p><p>"I Know. I Know." He got jumpy anytime it called him Captain even though he was constantly trying to get the others to. "You Like It Though! ...R-right?"</p><p>He'd actually told it not to call him that before. He'd taken right back, insisted it could call him whatever it wanted to, of course. He had told it not to though.</p><p>The others always told it that he wasn't Captain and not to call him that when they heard. It didn't understand. Even if he <em>technically</em> wasn't the Captain, Jonny was still Acting Captain and he was a <em>much</em> better Captain than the doctor had been.</p><p>And Jonny <em>liked</em> it when he was called Captain. Why did he not want it calling him that even if the others didn’t like him being the Captain?</p><p>"Just because I like it doesn't mean you have to call me that."</p><p>"I <em>Know.</em> I Can Ca-all You Whatever I Want. Y-you Say So Every Time I Call You Captain. But No One Else Is Here To Get Upset And You Like It So I W-want To Call You Captain. ...You’re A Good Captain Even If Everyone Else Doesn’t Want You To Stop Being The First Mate."</p><p>He stared at it for a long moment.</p><p>It was quite rude of him to insist on questioning it when it had two fingers buried in itself at his command. - well, not his <em>command</em> - his request really. Only it <em>liked</em> when he ordered it around like this even if he was so worried about it.</p><p>He wouldn't give it an order it didn't like and even if he <em>did</em>, he had made it promise to tell him if he ever did. He even made the point of <em>ordering</em> it to tell him before he agreed to do anything more than kiss it chastely.</p><p>He sighed, "okay. ...Okay. We're going to talk about this later because I'm confused...but I can let it go for now. If you really want to call me Captain, I… I won't argue."</p><p>It was probably mean to tease him. It was still going to.</p><p>"Th-thank You, Captain," it moaned.</p><p>He breath hitched. "Fucking minx."</p><p>It didn't get a chance to respond before he was kissing it again.</p><p><em>This </em>kiss was downright filthy. His tongue was pushed into it as far as it'd reach. He hooked a thumb into the corner of its mouth and used that to drag it open roughly. He swallowed every sound it made for him.</p><p>When he finally did pull back, he was panting.</p><p>"How. How many fingers do you have in yourself, <em>cariñe?"</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a></p><p>"T-two."</p><p>"How deep?"</p><p>"The Second Joint."</p><p>He pet its head as he watched it for a moment.</p><p>"Can you take them all the way to the root for me, sweet thing? Or will that be too much?"</p><p>"I- I Can Take Them."</p><p>He hummed, "go ahead and sink all the way down on them for me then. Tell me how it feels, how much of a stretch it is."</p><p>It pressed its fingers in deeper until it couldn't reach any deeper. It couldn't keep itself from whimpering.</p><p>"S-so Much. Feels Good. S-so Close." It wasn't entirely sure what it was babbling as it told him how good it felt, how it's fingers were almost too much even though it wanted more.</p><p>"Can you add another finger for me, sweet thing?"</p><p>It nodded, a moan slipping out as it did just that.</p><p>He smiled down at it. "Good pet."</p><p>His hand tightened in its hair almost enough for it to believe it actually hurt as he pulled its head up. He let it mouth at the tip of his cock for a brief moment before guiding it to sink down so that he was buried as down its throat as it could take him.</p><p>It shivered, a mewl crawling its way out of its throat and its eyes fluttering as he pressed it down so it was mouthing at his cunt.</p><p>"There you go, sweet thing. Such a lovely little slut for me to enjoy. you're such a lovely picture all covered in flowers and whining on your knees for me."</p><p>His hands found their way to the petals on its face again, stroking them gently and dipping in to press against the delicate stamen within, working them over like he would play with its cunt.</p><p>"Want you to make yourself come like this for me. Make yourself come with my cock down your throat and my hands on your pretty face. Can you do that for me, <em>cariñe?"</em> <a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a></p><p>It nodded, whining as it started working its fingers more roughly within itself.</p><p>Most of its flowers might be too delicate for rough handling, but its lower petals could take enough that it didn’t have to be careful as it forced itself higher and higher.</p><p>It knew Jonny had said for it to make itself come, but he was doing a fair bit to help it along with how he was playing with the blooms he could easily reach, with how he was holding it down as he thrust into its face until tears started to well in its eyes without it even needing to decide to pretend.</p><p>If it was real, it would have been choking on its own noises as much as his cock.</p><p>With him murmuring words about how good and pretty it was for him, telling it just how much he cared about it and how precious it was to him, it didn't take long before it was tipping over the edge, voice disappearing just a moment prior.</p><p>Its vision went cloudy as it gasped around its captain's cock. Its hearing was fine though.</p><p>It could hear Jonny coughing as it came down from its peak. His hands were almost too tight on it. Its own hand definitely was.</p><p>It whimpered.</p><p>Jonny was immediately pulling it off of his strap. "Easy, <em>cariñe.</em> <a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> Easy. Don't hurt yourself."</p><p>The not-quite order to not hurt itself was enough for it to convince its hand to stop attacking every sensitive spot in its lower petals. A part of it mourned the loss even if it knew it was only a minute or two from crying because it was too much for it to bear.</p><p>His hands were gentle as he pulled it onto the bed beside him.</p><p>He rolled over to drape himself on top of it and tugged lightly at its hand until it pulled it out of its trousers. He brought it up and wrapped his lips around its fingers, gently cleaning each one.</p><p>By the time he let its hand go, it was shuddering and whining softly. Its hips were twitching as they tried to find <em>some</em> sort of friction.</p><p>"You taste so sweet, Toy."</p><p>
  <em>"Caaptain!"</em>
</p><p>It whined more to watch the way his eyes got all dark at the title than because it was actually whining for him. It liked the look in his eyes whenever it called him Captain, all pleased and dangerous and perfectly <em>possessive.</em></p><p>(It knew that he hated how possessive he was with it. It liked it though. It liked knowing that he’d never let anyone take it away, that he’d destroy anything and anyone who tried to damage it, that he was going to keep it safe and precious and as loved as a toy could be <em>forever.</em> It wished it could find a way to explain to him that it did without him trying to explain that it didn’t belong to him really.</p><p>It thought he might be worried that it thought he wouldn’t let it leave if it was real. Which was silly because it wasn’t. And even if it was, it knew he’d never keep it if it wanted to leave. That’s what made him being possessive <em>so good).</em></p><p>He dragged it into another should be bruising, would be bruising if it wasn’t wood, kiss. It wished it could bruise all pretty for him.</p><p>"May I undress you now, <em>dolcite?"</em> <a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a></p><p>It took a moment to consider. Jonny would be quite upset with it if it told him yes when it wasn't really ready to get undressed.</p><p>It <em>thought</em> it was ready. It wanted to feel him against it at least. It wasn't sure that it would stay with him the whole time if he took all of its clothes off.</p><p>"Not All The Way?"</p><p>He nuzzled against its cheek. "Can I get your shirt off? Wanna touch you more."</p><p>It nodded. "Please."</p><p>His hands were heavy and warm on its chest as he worked its shirt open and off of it. They felt like fire when he brought them back to pet at the flowers swelling into full bloom.</p><p>"You're absolutely exquisite, Toy. Such a lovely, sweet thing."</p><p>It just whined, squirming under his arms.</p><p>He hummed for a moment, before leaning down and kissing it.</p><p>"I'm going to kiss you and play with your chest. When you're ready to take your trousers off, I'll fuck you until you come screaming my name. And then, you're going to ride my cock until one of us can't take anymore."</p><p>It moaned, "Y-yes Captain. Please."</p><p>Jonny growled, a low rumbling noise it could feel through its entire body, and leaned down to kiss it again. It felt like his hands were everywhere. They were just rough enough that it briefly feared he was going to start damaging them.</p><p>He pulled back and took the outer petals of one of its flowers between his fingers tight enough to bruise, tight enough that it was gasping and tears were flooding its eyes.</p><p>"Just how rough can I be with these before it stops being good for you, sweet thing?"</p><p>"N-no More. Please. C-captain, I Can't-"</p><p>It didn't know how to convince him that it was telling the truth. It knew there was no way he would believe it - not when it was gasping and squirming desperately under him. It really<em> was</em> at the edge of its ability to feel pleasure from his hands on its flowers though.</p><p>He eased up on the flower slowly, giving a pleased hum when it whimpered.</p><p>The Toy Soldier didn't understand how it could feel so good even when it hurt so much.</p><p>But then, everything Jonny did was like that. He was always dragging up sensations and <strike>emotions</strike> <em>lessons in pretending</em> that it had spent centuries burying.</p><p>He gently rolled its petals between his fingers for several long moments, smirking as it writhed under him, before parting them to press his thumb into it and against the stamen.</p><p>It gasped and clutched at him, its eyes fluttering in pleasure.</p><p>He slowly pressed harder until he was bruising its petals again and it was crying out as its hips thrust up. The mingled pain-pleasure sensation was almost more than it could manage to keep track of.</p><p>"That feel good for ya, Toy?"</p><p>It nodded, sobs catching in its throat.</p><p>"Ought t'make ya come like this, sobbing and begging for me. Should see how many times I can get ya off just from this."</p><p>It wailed, hands scrambled at his chest. It couldn't, it couldn't, it couldn't.</p><p>"That's it, <em>cariñe.</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> You're so close. Gonna look right pretty for coming like this, all spread out and desperate. My pretty pretty slut, so eager for me to do anything I want to you, so desperate for me to use your body to pleasure myself."</p>
<hr/><p>When it came, it wasn't expecting it. One moment it was crying and struggling under Jonny, the next it was staring up at him, his hands cupping its face.</p><p>"That's it, <em>dolcite.</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> You're doing so good. Come on, come on back to me."</p><p>It whimpered.</p><p>Its entire body felt sore? It hurt but not really, not properly. It thought this must be what its crew mates were talking about when they said they were sore.</p><p>"There you go, <em>cariñe,</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> there you are. How do you feel, sweet thing?"</p><p>It had to lick its lips a few times before it could figure out how to use its voice box again.</p><p>"S-sore. Think."</p><p>"You think you're sore?"</p><p>It nodded. "...w-what?"</p><p>"What happened?" His voice was gentle.</p><p>It nodded again, leaning into his hand and mouthing slightly at it.</p><p>He was gentle as he shifted its face into one hand and fed it two of his fingers to suck on.</p><p>"Was kinda hoping you could tell me, sweet thing. Best I could tell, it looked like you came hard enough that you shut down for a moment there on me."</p><p>Oh. That would explain why its ability to feel Jonny was so much sharper than normal. If it was recalibrated then all the ways it had damaged its ability to feel over the years would have been corrected.</p><p>It was less concerned about what would happen as a result than it would have thought it'd be.</p><p>It was less concerned than it <em>should</em> be considering how much effort it had put into making sure it couldn’t feel all the damage its past owners had done to it.</p><p>Jonny was a heavy, and warm, and soft, and so very, very <em>good</em> weight on top of it though. And he’d just made it come so hard that it had been forced to recalibrate itself. And he loved it and didn’t care that it was just making him more horny than he already was and he was never going to let it go or leave it alone. <em>Not Ever.</em></p><p>If anything, it was more interested in getting Jonny to fuck it now.</p><p>Only...trying to string words together sounded like more trouble than it was worth. Instead it just tried to thrust its hips up until he ground down against it hard enough to make it cry out.</p><p>“Shit. You okay?”</p><p>It nodded, whining around his fingers and spreading its legs.</p><p>He laughed softly. “Is that what you were after? Want me to fuck you now?”</p><p>It nodded eagerly, moaning around his fingers to try and reenforce how ready for him to fuck it it was.</p><p>He pulled back slowly, pressing it back down with a gentle kiss when it tried to follow.</p><p>“Easy, sweet thing. Let me finish getting ya undressed so I can fuck ya. Gonna look so pretty taking my cock. Gonna get ya stretched out and make ya cry because you feel too good not to, <em>dolcite.</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> Ya want me t’do that? Like the idea of me making ya feel so good, you can’t help but cry?”</p><p>It whined desperately.</p><p>“Or I suppose since it’s you I’d be making you pretend to cry. Hmm? You like that idea? Want me to fill ya up so well you have to pretend to cry for me? Even if ya try to do something else?”</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>It liked the sound of that. It wanted Jonny to force it to pretend to cry for him, even as it tried to just moan and whine all pretty for him. It wanted to cry for him because it felt too good to not.</p><p>"Good pet. Gonna take such good care of you." He kept murmuring soft promises about how he was going to wreck it as he slowly worked its trousers off of it.</p><p>He gently set one of its legs on his shoulder and pressed the other out to the side. He trailed his family ngers through its sensitive petals.</p><p>"You look so pretty like this, <em>amor.</em><a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a> Would love to see you like this more often."</p><p>He gently eased two of his fingers in and curled them, rubbing against its innermost petals.</p><p>It moaned.</p><p>Two of Jonny's fingers weren't exactly a stretch after it had had three of its own in its flower, but the feel of him was still intense. He was stroking along its petals firmly, pressing just hard enough to make it whine.</p><p>After a few moments, he added a third finger. Gently, he began pumping them in and out of its flower, pressing its petals out like he didn't already have it in full bloom.</p><p>His free hand drifted over its chest, brushing the petals of its smaller flowers. Occasionally he stopped and pinched a petal between his fingers, squeezing until it was sure to bruise before moving on.</p><p>"So pretty like this, <em>cariñe.</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> You're pretty smooth down here," he said, gently curling his fingers in it. "Is there anything I should be looking for to make you feel even better or is this everything you need?"</p><p>It worked its hips against his hand as it whined.</p><p>"Are you done talking for a bit, sweet thing?"</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>"Okay, can you use numbers to answer my question?"</p><p>It nodded and held up two fingers for him.</p><p>"You ready for me, or do you need some more prep to be sure I won't damage you?"</p><p>It held up one finger this time.</p><p>He leaned down and kissed it, all gentle and slow as his fingers kept working its petals over. He carefully licked into its mouth, swallowing every small noise it made as it tried wrapping its legs around his waist.</p><p>Jonny pulled back and slowly drew his fingers out of it before gently pressing its legs open wide.</p><p>“There you go, <em>dulcite.</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> Just need a moment to grab the lube. Don’t wanna risk damaging ya ’cause I’m too rough for ya.”</p><p>It left its legs where he’d put them while he got up and disappeared for a moment. It tried not to whine, it didn’t have any reason to. It was just a toy after all.</p><p><em>The Toy Soldier was just a toy. Toys didn’t have needs or wants. Toys were just for looking pretty and doing what their owner wanted-</em>
</p><p>“Hey, hey. <em>Cariñe,</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> I’m right here. It’s okay. You’re with me now, not lettin’ nobody take ya. You’re on the starship Aurora, with Jonny. You’re a fuckin’ minx that keeps callin’ me Captain when no one else is around to stop ya ‘cause I have a thing for it even though I’ve told ya that ya don’t got to a thousand times. Ya drive me up the wall puttin’ on the biggest fuckin’ grin no matter how bad it gets and always know what to say to me laugh.”</p><p>Jonny was kneeling over it, cupping its face in his hands and stroking its cheeks as he murmured to it. He kept going, talking about how it fit into the crew, how it pretending to be a person made everyone so happy.</p><p>Slowly, it managed to shut out the <strike>thoughts</strike> <strike>memories</strike> <strike>reminders</strike> claims that it shouldn’t be pretending to be a person, that it was just a toy.</p><p>It reached up and wrapped its hands around his.</p><p>Jonny fell silent. For a long moment he just watched it, stroking its cheeks tenderly.</p><p>Distantly, a part of it noted that it was crying. It must be worrying him. And right after they’d found a way for it to suck him off without forgetting that it was his.</p><p>His thumbs brushed against the flowers wilting on its face, reminding it of what they’d been doing before it’d forgotten it belonged to the Mechanisms now.</p><p>A whine forced its way past its lips before it could stop it.</p><p>Jonny stopped.</p><p>It was pretty sure that it was shaking.</p><p>“Toy? Are you with me?”</p><p>It nodded, a sensation like ice and snow and other yucky things building in its chest.</p><p>“Am I damaging you?”</p><p>It shook its head, fingers tightening on his wrists automatically. It didn’t want him to leave. He wouldn’t leave, it knew he wouldn’t. But he might let go and that felt like the same thing right now.</p><p>“Are you getting- um… are you getting signals that I’m about to start damaging you.”</p><p>It shook its head again. It didn’t understand his question. Why would it get notifications that he was going to start damaging it when he was being gentle with it? He only damaged it when it asked him to or he was damaging <em>everything</em>.</p><p>“Okay. Um. Am I at risk of uh… of damaging your? Processing? Components?”</p><p>Oh. He was worried that he was making things worse. He was even being nice and remembering that it wasn’t really a person so that it didn’t feel compelled to remind him.</p><p>It shook its head before turning and pressing a kiss to his palm. It left its lips pressed to his hand, relaxing into his hold as best a toy made of wood could. It whined softly.</p><p>Jonny chuckled. “I’m teasin’ ya aren’t I?”</p><p>It nodded, blinking slowly up at him like Marius sometimes did when he was feeling especially affectionate.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll stop touchin’ your pretty flowers. You want to get dressed again or do you just wanna get under the covers?”</p><p>What? No!</p><p>Jonny was supposed to fuck it. He’d made it watch while he opened himself up for his strap so that he could fuck its mouth without it forgetting that it was his. He thought it blooming like it was going to get anything other than a mess out of its flowers was pretty.</p><p>Jonny sighed, the hand it wasn’t leaning against moving to stroke its hair.</p><p>“I wanna take care of you like I’d take care of a person. I know you say you’re not, but can you pretend for me? Can even say you’re helping me practice so I can take care of the others if that helps.”</p><p>It kissed his hand again, whining.</p><p>It <em>knew</em> that he was worried and just wanted to take care of it and he liked it pretending to be a person in the same way Brian was a person. It wanted him to fuck it not coddle it though.</p><p><em>“Cariñe,</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> I know you can’t use your voice right now, but can you show me what you want? I don’t understand what’s wrong.”</p><p>What’s wrong was he was worrying about it forgetting itself for a moment instead of if it was still ready for him to fuck it.</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>“Thank you, <em>dolcite.</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> You’re doing so good for me.”</p><p>It reached up so it could wrap its arms around his shoulders and bring him down to it. Once he settled on its chest, it wrapped its legs around his waist and reached down to line him up with its innermost petals.</p><p>Instead of thrusting in, he pulled back.</p><p>It didn’t know what the noise it made was, only that it wanted him to come back and fuck it already.</p><p>“I’m not gonna have sex with you when you can’t tell me what happened. We’ve talked about this before. We’re gonna cuddle until you can use your voice box again and then you’re gonna tell me what happened. If you still wanna have sex afterwards, then I’ll fuck you.”</p><p>It pouted up at him.</p><p>They <em>had not</em> talked about this. They’d talked about how if it couldn’t pick and clearly communicate wants and diswants, then it couldn’t be involved in kinky stuff.</p><p>It was clearly communicating what it wanted though!</p><p><em>“Mi amor,”</em> <a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a> Jonny groaned. “Don’t give me those eyes. You checked out. I can’t confirm that you’re okay to continue if ya can’t tell me what happened.”</p><p>It kept pouting even if it let go of him and flopped loose-limped onto the bed.</p><p>Jonny sat back up and ran a hand over his face.</p><p>“Fucking fuck. I spoil you so much, you fucking brat. <em>Fine.</em> We’ll get under the covers and you can keep my cock warm while we wait for your voice to work again. That’s the best you’re gonna get.”</p><p>It wasn’t that same as him fucking it. The idea of keeping Jonny’s cock warm for however long it took for its gears to remember that it had a proper voice box sounded <em>really</em> nice though.</p><p>It nodded, squirming some as it did so.</p><p>He laughed softly, smiling down at it.</p><p>He cupped its face in his hands and kissed it again before fussing about to get it under the covers and sliding in after it.</p><p>It tugged him to lay on its chest again, wanting to feel as much of him as possible even if he wouldn’t fuck it.</p><p>“So impatient,” he teased. “Ought to get Ashes to play with you sometime soon, Remind you how to wait.”</p><p>It just whined.</p><p>It would honestly quite enjoy Jonny getting Ashes to play with it again. Ashes was a lot of fun to play with even if they didn’t like touching very much or often.</p><p>Jonny getting Ashes to play with it <em>specifically</em> to remind it how to wait would be <em>torture</em> though.</p><p>Jonny slowly slicked up his strap, eyes locked on it as he sat back up so it could watch his hand work over the shaft.</p><p>“You still ready for me, sweet thing? Or do I need to open you back up a bit?”</p><p>It was pretty sure that its petals had closed back up enough that he’d damage it if he just shoved in. It was still open enough that he should be able to ease in without damaging it. Him pushing into its flower while it wasn’t in full bloom would just make him feel bigger.</p><p>It held up one finger and shook its head before placing a hand on his chest so that he couldn’t push in quickly without damaging its arm as well.</p><p>Jonny frowned at it.</p><p>“Do you need some prep to take me without getting damaged?”</p><p>It shook its head.</p><p>“Are you ready for me?”</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>He studied it for a moment before blinking.</p><p>“Do I need to go slowly to not damage you?”</p><p>It nodded, grinning up at him as it took its hand back.</p><p>“Alright, I can do that, <em>cariñe.”</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a></p><p>He slowly pressed in, forcing its petals open.</p><p>It gasped. Its eyes fluttered and it clutched at his shoulders. It could feel the slight scrape from the bumps and ridges along his cock as they helped force its petals apart. It could feel itself rearranging slightly so he could bury his strap in it.</p><p>Jonny gently kissed it before laying down on its chest.</p><p>It wrapped its arms around him and held on tightly while it waited for its voice to come back.</p>
<hr/><p>Jonny was gently tracing patterns on its arm as he told it about a toy rabbit that had been loved so much it turned real.</p><p>It supposed it was a good thing that Ashes and Tim were always careful not to burn it, it supposed. It wouldn't get to become a real soldier if it burned up like the toy rabbit became a real rabbit.</p><p>"Of course you would. You'd be all fragile and mortal though so we have to make sure you don't burn up."</p><p>Oh. It hadn't realized it said that out loud.</p><p>Jonny dragged his lips along its shoulder.</p><p>"You okay to talk now, <em>dolcite?"</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a></p><p>It whined.</p><p>It could tell Jonny was smiling.</p><p>"...yes. Don't want to though."</p><p>"I know, <em>amor.</em><a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a> I don't wanna either. Gotta know what happened that you disappeared on me though."</p><p>It wrapped its legs around his waist tightly, whimpering at the feel of him pressing in just a bit deeper.</p><p>"Not sure. Didn't want you to leave even though you needed to and started whining. Then I was remembering that toys aren't supposed to want anything even though I know you like it better when I pretend I'm a person."</p><p>Jonny pressed a kiss to its neck.</p><p>"Do you need to stop pretending for a little bit?"</p><p>It shook its head quickly. <em>"No!</em> I- I Can Stay With You. Want To Stay Here, Want You To Fuck Me."</p><p>Jonny sighed. <em>"Cariñe,</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> I won't risk damaging you in a way we can't guarantee can be fixed. If you're having trouble staying with me then I might damage your processing components. We don't even know what you processing components<em> are."</em></p><p>It whined.</p><p>"I came back to you though."</p><p>"I know, <em>amor,</em><a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a> I know. You were gone for a while though. Came pretty close to scaring me real bad."</p><p>It tightened its hold on him.</p><p>It wasn't<em> fair.</em></p><p>It was a good toy and did everything its Captain wanted and just because some of its previous owners had been very mad when it pretended to be a real person and it forgot for a moment that it was <em>Jonny's</em> now and he <em>wanted</em> it to pretend to be a person, it didn't get to get fucked.</p><p>And because Jonny avoided giving it orders when he wouldn't expect another crew member to follow them, he wouldn't even order it to stay with him. He <em>always</em> was <em>really</em> careful not to give it orders in the bedroom.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>It hadn't actually ever tried asking him to give it orders. He'd been really emphatic about wanting to make sure he didn't order it around in the bedroom in a way it felt the need to obey him anymore than the rest of the crew would.</p><p>"Can't you just order me to stay with you?"</p><p>Jonny startled at the quiet request. He pulled back and looked down at it for a moment.</p><p>When he spoke, his voice was incredibly gentle. "I'm not going to order you around when we're trying to have sex, <em>mi amor." </em><a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a></p><p>It shook its head quickly. It already knew that he didn’t want to. That wasn’t what it was asking for though. It jumped in before he could start fussing.</p><p>"If You Order Me To Stay With You Then I Can't Forget I'm Yours. Th-that's The Problem, Right? That I Go Away When I Forget?”</p><p>Jonny sighed, "I- ... you're designed to be able to mimic a person, right?"</p><p>"Of Course!"</p><p>"If you <em>were</em> a person I'm pretty sure you disappearing on me would usually be because of a flashback. You've gotten so good at pretending to be one that I'm not so sure you aren't having flashbacks."</p><p>He leaned down to kiss it, cutting off its objection that it wasn’t a person.</p><p>"I don't think ordering you not to would fix your issue in general. If you've started having flashbacks, I think it's gonna be more complicated than just telling you to stop. I know you wouldn’t pretend to have them so there’s something else going on that’s causing them...even if they aren’t technically flashbacks."</p><p>It pouted. "Can We <em>Try</em> Though?"</p><p>Jonny stared at it for a moment before sighing. "Okay, <em>dolcite.</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> We can try it. If you disappear on me again then we're done though. No exceptions, okay?"</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>It wasn't an order - it could keep arguing if it wanted. Jonny seemed like he wasn't actually comfortable with fucking it when it might forget it was his so it would accept it if it didn't work. It really thought it would though.</p><p>"Okay. okay...fuck. Do you have any wording that you think will work best?"</p><p>It didn't. It felt like there was something important about it<em> remembering</em> it was his though.</p><p>"I Keep Forgetting I'm Yours. Tha-that's important. Maybe For Me To Remember That I'm Yours And You Want Me To Pretend To Be A Person For You?"</p><p>Jonny frowned. He was quiet for a long moment, thumb rubbing its neck in that absent way it knew he did when he was thinking.</p><p>"Something like, 'you will remember that you're mine and that I love you pretending to be a person for me'?"</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>"Okay. Okay. Um. Could you explain that, <em>cariñe?</em><a href="#note1"><sup>1</sup></a> How would reminding you that I want you to pretend to be a person help keep you from having flashbacks - or whatever you have to mimic flashbacks."</p><p>It squirmed slightly. It didn't know why the idea of Jonny knowing some of its old owners were <strike>bad</strike> <strike>mean</strike> <strike>cruel</strike> upset that it pretended to be a person was scary. It must be getting<em> really</em> good at pretending if it was being scared in its own head.</p><p>"S-some Of My Old Owners Didn't Like It When I Pretended To Be A Person. They um...they'd get angry and i-it'd be like a violence game but it wouldn't be fun."</p><p>Jonny pressed close to it.</p><p>"I um. In your fla-ashback metaphor, I Remembered Them Yelling At Me And Then I Couldn't Stop Remembering Because I...because I forgot I was yours now and it's okay that I pretend to be a person."</p><p>Jonny blinked slowly, humming for a moment before he slipped a hand under its head to cup the back of its neck.</p><p>"Would it be a reasonable metaphor to say that you think what happened earlier was you fell into a flashback after a bad thought?"</p><p>That...sounded right? It wasn't sure about how it felt about using the metaphors still but it had never worked out how to explain how it worked without them so it guessed it understood why Jonny was asking it if the metaphor was okay.</p><p>It nodded. "It. It's not <em>exactly</em> right but um. that's sort of what happened."</p><p>"So you think if I give you an order to remember that I want you to pretend to be a person, you'll be able to keep bad thoughts from turning into flashbacks - metaphorically speaking."</p><p>It nodded, "And That I'm Yours."</p><p>Jonny hummed. "Okay. We can try it."</p><p>It beamed up at him making him laugh softly.</p><p>"Toy Soldier," his voice hardened into an Order, sending not-sparks down its not-spine. "From here on out you're forbidden from forgetting that you're <em>mine</em> and that I expect you to pretend to be a person to the best of your ability."</p><p>His voice turned to the possessive almost snarl he so rarely used to refer to it on "mine." The same one that he granted other members of the crew for teasing him but denied it unless he was rescuing it, usually.</p><p>It moaned as it felt the Order settle into its gears, the steady thrum reassuring it that it was <em>Jonny's</em> mingling with the swelling in its chest at him being so openly possessive over it. It felt so <em>good</em>. The order kept repeating in its head just loudly enough it didn't have to think about it to remember that it was <em>Jonny's</em>. The not quite snarled "mine" echoing through its thoughts in just the right way to start it blooming all over again.</p><p>Jonny slowly ran a hand down its side. "You sound like you like that, sweet thing."</p><p>It nodded, grinning at him as widely as it could.</p><p><em>"Yours,"</em> it whispered. "I'm Yours."</p><p>Jonny smiled at him and started gently rolling his hips against it. "Yeah, you're mine. Not gonna let nobody take you away from our crew."</p><p>It whimpered. Its eyes felt hot, like when Ashes was careless and let it get too close to their flames.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“Mine.”</strong> "I don’t care who tries to take you away, the only way I’m giving you up is if you ask me to - and not under anyone’s orders.” </em>
</p><p>Jonny brought a hand to cup its cheek and started gently rubbing his thumb against its flowers.</p><p>"You're doing such a good job for me, <em>amor./em&gt; <a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a> Letting me take care of you, telling me what you want."</em></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It gasped and grabbed at the sheets as he brushed against something that sent sparks flying everywhere.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p><em> <strong>“Mine.” </strong> “No me preocupo si no cree que sea una persona. Te amo a pesar de eso.” </em> <a href="#note4"> <sup>4</sup> </a></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He paused, pulling out some. "You okay?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded, legs shaking as it tried to keep itself from chasing after him.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Yes. I'm good. Captain. Please. Please, Jonny. Captain."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny chuckled. He slowly started rolling his hips back in until it was shaking and gasping and moaning his name as he brushed up against whatever that spot was again and again and again.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"You like that, sweet thing? Want me to keep fucking you right there?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded desperately, letting go of the sheets to grab him.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“Mine.” </strong> “You’re an important part of this crew, Toy, even if I’m too much of an idiot to see it sometimes.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He let it pull him down so that it could hold him close and started mouthing at its flowers. He gently ground his hips into that spot, driving it insane as it couldn't think past the feel of his cock buried in its lower petals, of his lips brushing over its flowers, of his tongue tracing the shape of its petals and pressing against its stamens until it was shuddering, of his hands dancing up and down its sides.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It was shaking and gasping and whining and not actually thinking about what it was doing. Jonny felt so good and it didn't want this to ever stop.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Smack!</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tears welled in its eyes as its head snapped to the side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stop that! If I wanted to fuck some desperate whore I'd have bought one instead of a toy."</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>It whined. It didn't mean to be bad!</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Its owner grunted as they started thrusting into it again. They felt almost too big and it was stretched around them as much as it could take without damage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>It tried to be still and quiet, but it couldn't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please, please sir." It reached out to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fucking defaulty program!" They abruptly pulled out of it and hauled it upright by its hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>It cried out in <strike>pain</strike> warning that he would damage it. It was ignored though.</em> 
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>He dragged it into their workshop and threw it onto the table. </em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>A moment later they were clamping it to the table and taking a saw to its arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It was so close. It was shaking around Jonny and tears were running down its cheeks.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It kept getting flashes of other times it had been fucked like this. Everytime it started to remember more than the fact that its past owner was upset that it acted like a person instead of like a toy though, Jonny's voice sounded through its head.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're forbidden from forgetting that you're <strong>mine</strong> and that I expect you to pretend to be a person to the best of your ability."</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It choked on a sob and clutched tighter at Jonny.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It was his. It was his and he loved it and he would never let anyone who’d <strike>hurt it</strike> damage it touch it again and he made sure that it didn’t have to remember its old owners just because it remembered that it was pretending to be a person too good even though he didn’t like giving it Orders and he <em>loved it.</em></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Shh. It's okay, <em>dolcite,</em> it's okay. I've got you. You're doing so good for me. So wonderful. Taking my cock so well."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It buried it's face into his neck and clung to him as it tried to hold back.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"You alright, sweet thing? Tell me what's wrong."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded, sobs catching in its throat. "’M close."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny made a pleased noise at that.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Yeah? Can you come for me again? You look so pretty coming on my cock. Makes me so happy to make you come like this."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It sobbed as it tipped over the edge.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He fucked it through the aftershocks, pulling away somewhat shakily when it started whimpering.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>His voice was tight with need when he asked how it was doing.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Good. So good."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Its pollen was thick enough in his hair to turn it yellow. His cheeks were flushed nearly as dark as they got when Brian kept him on the bridge for hours without letting him come. He was panting lightly as he looked down at it, a mix of hunger and affection and other things it didn't know what to call in his eyes.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Good," he murmured, fingers starting to trace along the edges of its petals. "You're taking me so well, Toy."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It groaned, shaking some at the compliment.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny looked so desperate, like he was trying to keep himself from doing something.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>His fingers gently brushed along its lips.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"What's that frown for, sweet thing?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"You haven't come." It didn't quite make the connection until the words were falling out of its mouth.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He gave it a slightly strained smile. "Not yet. I'll let you make me come though, don't worry."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It felt like a bucket of freezing salt water had just been dumped over it.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It hadn't let any of the Mechanisms see it flower before. Jonny didn't know what it did to people when it flowered. He was going to get mad and hate it and -</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. What's wrong, <em>amor?</em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> Talk to me please."</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It gasped, hands instinctively flying to grab Jonny's before it remembered itself and forced them to the bed. "I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I Didn't Mean To. I'm Sorry. Thought You Knew - Promise.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny started petting its hair gently. "Shh. Shh. It's alright, <em>mi amor</em>. <a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a> It's alright. Just breathe for a moment for me. Breath in… and out…. In….</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It copied his exaggerated breathing until it could blink past the tears.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"There we go. So good for me. Can you try to explain to me, sweet thing? What didn't you mean to do?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He didn't seem mad at it. Maybe he would like it? He liked it when Raph gave him things that worked similarly.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It carefully reached up to touch his hair, letting the pollen collect on its fingertips.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"I Flowered. And- and I Never Did That For You Before So You Didn't Know What I'd Do To You And Then You Made Me Come And It's Even Worse And-"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny squeezed its hip gently.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Hey, it's okay. I'm not angry. I trust you if you say you didn’t mean to drug me without asking first. We'll talk to the others and have a discussion about how you can arrange yourself and what effects that can have on the rest of us so you know that we’re aware of what we’re agreeing to. Okay?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Can you tell me what your flowering does that you're worried about?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded. "It um. My Pollen Is Designed To Increase People's Desires. Um…"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny gently set a finger on its lips, signalling a need for question while he thought.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"Toy… do you mean that you produce sex pollen?"</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>"And you coming means I’m literally covered in it.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He blinked down at it for a moment before bursting into laughter.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Why was he laughing? It had drugged him without him knowing!</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>After a moment, he leaned down and cupped its face in his hands. “I’m guessing that the only thing it’s gonna do to me is make me really stupidly horny?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It bit its lip. It didn’t think it was supposed to do anything else, but a lot of its past owners had gotten really upset anytime it flowered and insisted that it was its fault that they damaged it.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“It’s okay if there’s more, Toy. I can tell you didn’t think about how you were going to flower or what else that might mean before you arranged yourself. I didn’t exactly give you time to remember anything afterwards. We’re going to have a talk about what you can do that you haven’t shown everyone before so it doesn’t happen again, but I’m not mad at you.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded hesitantly. “S-some Of My Old Owners Would Get Very Angry When I Flowered Especially If I Came And Would Damage Me! They Always Said That It Was My Fault And That If I Hadn’t Drugged Them Then They Wouldn’t Have Damaged Me! It- It’s Only Supposed To Make You More Interested In Sex Though!”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Oh <em>amor,”</em><a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a> he sighed. For a moment he was quiet; it peeked up at him to see him making a face like he was trying to figure out words. “Did...did those people damage you when you didn’t flower too?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“...yes.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He leaned down and kissed it like it was made of glass instead of wood. When he pulled back he rested his forehead on its and gently stroked its neck.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I think we can safely assume they were lying then. The only thing it’s gonna do is make me horny which isn’t exactly new.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It giggled.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It supposed that made sense. Marius said that Jonny’s libido was rude and never shut up and that’s why he was such a slut. Ashes said that it wasn’t since they weren’t a slut and their dick was just as needy as his though. According to Marius, Ashes didn’t count since they were only interested in sex because they liked watching their partners’ reactions.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny was watching it with a gentle smile on his face.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You done?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded. “Need To Make You Come!”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He blinked at it for a moment before laughing. He darted down to kiss it again.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I meant are you done with sex or do you want me to keep fucking you, <em>amor.”</em><a href="#note2"><sup>2</sup></a></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Oh.” It considered itself. It wasn’t nearly fucked out enough that he might damage it and he still felt really nice in its flower. It wanted him to keep fucking it. It needed to make him come so he didn’t get sick though.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Do you want me to keep fucking you, sweet thing?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded. “Need To Get You Off First Though.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Toy…”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It shook its head quickly. He wasn’t understanding.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p><em>“Need</em> To Make You Come First.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Stressing the need seemed to have at least gotten him to realize he wasn’t understanding.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Why do you need to make me come before I keep fucking you, <em>dolcite?” </em><a href="#note3"><sup>3</sup></a></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It whimpered slightly as he shifted in it.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Could Make You Sick Otherwise.” It reached up to touch the pollen collected over his eyelashes. “Too Much If You Don’t Come.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny blinked at it again before seeming to make the connection.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Are you trying to say I need to come before you get off again so that your pollen doesn’t build up in my system and make me sick?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It nodded eagerly, tugging lightly until he lay down on it properly. It squirmed as it slid a hand between them.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Jonny turned its face so that they were almost kissing again as he laughed, “okay, sweet thing. You can get me off and then I’m gonna fuck the words out of ya. That sound good?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Yes! Please, Captain!”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It could feel his cock twitching and his breath catch at the use of the title.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Fucking minx,” he murmured against its lips before kissing it.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so that was a lot. Some notes regarding what's actually going on with TS's thought process since I have zero clue how well they came through:<br/>TS honestly trusts that Jonny has his possessiveness under control more than he does. On top of that, the <em>only</em> times he's been possessive towards it without it doing something to communicate that it needed reassurance he wasn't going to let it be taken away have been when someone kidnapped it. Its also seen him let go of people he didn't want to before.<br/>It also very much takes comfort in that possessiveness. This factor is a bit weird in that I think in this its not. like consciously aware that its a person, but a part of it knows it is. Its not ready to deal with admitting that it's been abused though so its clinging to the fact that it's "just a toy." It's aware enough to be terrified of being forced away from these people who actively want it to be a person and to just be itself, and someone giving it an order to leave them really would force it away. Knowing that Jonny would do literally anything it took to get it back if that happened is <em>immensely</em> reassuring to it.<br/>The reason Jonny ordering it actually manages to prevent flashbacks is because the order is essentially acting as a trigger warning every time it's liable to trigger itself. Where before a stray thought along the lines of 'Jonny's bigger than x was' or 'I'm being too needy' tended to be the start of a spiral. With the order Jonny gave, those spirals get interrupted  right at the start with a reminder that its "owner" wants it to be itself and not a sex doll. That reminder gives it the push it needs to pull itself out before the spiral turns into a flashback. TS is gonna be very disappointed to learn that it only works when it spirals, not with any other triggers.</p><p>Translations:</p><ol>
<li>
<a id="note1" name="note1"></a><em>cariñe</em> -&gt; Spanish, similar to sweetheart in English</li>
<li>
<a id="note2" name="note2"></a><em>amor</em> -&gt; Spanish, literally “love”, a very strong romantic pet name when used for non-family members</li>
<li>
<a id="note3" name="note3"></a><em>dolcite</em> -&gt; Spanish, literally “(little) sweet” using the gender neutral ending <em>-e</em>
</li>
<li>
<a id="note4" name="note4"></a><em>No me preocupo si no cree que sea una persona. Te amo a pesar de eso.</em> -&gt; Spanish, “I don’t care if you don’t believe you’re a person. I love you regardless.”</li>
If I forgot/missed any translations, feel free to let me know. I’m well aware that I forget to translate the Spanish a lot.

If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.

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